Sturm's Stage Act
by Amity Bell
Summary: What happens when you mix together the Companions and other Dragonlance characters, random songs, and an old-fashioned stage straight out of a Looney Toons episode?
1. Sturm Meets The Bunny Hop

Author's Note: I got this idea when I was walking to the bathroom. I have no clue why it was then, but oh well. I thought it was rather funny, so I typed it up and decided to post it. Oh yeah. The probable reason for the bunny hop being in it is that I have a strange habit of whistling or humming it or da-daing it whenever I'm either not paying attention to what I'm doing or feel like it. Oh, well. Enjoy.  
  
Sturm's Stage Act: The Bunny Hop  
  
Sturm walks onto an old-fashioned wooden floored stage wearing one of those straw hats and carrying a can, and wearing a white and red pin-stiped suit. He bows, stroking his mustaches, and then clears his throat. He opens his mouth and stretches out his arms, and then bursts into song. It went something like this:  
"Da da da da da da, da da da da da. Da da da da da da. DA DA DA!" On the last da's he tapped the cane on the floor instead of waving it around as he tapdanced. (He's singing the bunny hop in his deep bass.)  
He continued on, and then, once he had finished it for the tenth time, he bowed again, stroking his mustaches, and walked off. The room was filled with the chirping crickets as the rest of the companions just stared in shock. O.o''' O.O''' O.O''' O.O''' o.O''' O.o''' O.O''' o.O''' They all fell over backwards out of their seats as the curtains fell.  
  
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Sturm: I hope you're happy. You made a total fool out of me.  
  
MK: Yup yup. You have to admit. It was fun, wasn't it?  
  
Sturm: -blushes and looks away-  
  
Rest of the Companions: -rotflol-  
  
MK: Case closed.  
  
GAHHH!!! I forgot the disclaimer! Ok, Dragonlance and everything related to it DOES NOT BELONG TO ME!!! There we go. ^_^ 


	2. Laurana, The Hoe Down, And Happy Days

Author's Notes: This is Laurana. Please don't flame! It's only meant as a joke! I have the utmost respect for her (half of the time)! Dragonlance and everything to do with it will NEVER belong to me. Enjoy.  
  
Sturm's Stage Act: Lauralanthalasa and the Hoe Down  
  
Laurana enters from the right. Carefully avoiding the goo stain, she walks to the middle of the stage. Her hair is done up into two braided pigtails on the sides of her head and she is wearing a pair of cut-off shorts, a hillbilly hat, a pair of big, black, and shiny tap shoes, and a red tank top shirt. Some of her teeth have been painted black so she looks gap toothed.  
A Hoe Down came loud and clear over the speakers she wrinkled her nose, squinted her eyes, and pulled her jaw back. She started a tap dancing routine that resembled square dancing.  
She stopped when the last note cut off, but then began Happy Days as that song came on. After three or four repeats of Happy Days her performance ended and she took her bow before proceeding to exit the stage.  
By this point in time the whole audience had fried brains and were foaming at the mouth.  
  
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Laurana: Porthios!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Mk: That's a wrap! AGHHHHH!!!! NO!!!! DON'T HURT ME!!!!!! -runs away as Porthios chases her with a sword- 


	3. Tanis, Kitiara, And Hiddukel's Voice

Author's Note: Well, I've come back with some fresh ideas because of Silverkitsune202. Thank her all of you fans. Now I have come up with ideas for Raistlin, Caramon, Tika, Riverwind and Goldmoon, Dalamar and Lord Soth, Laurana, Tanis and Kitiara, Tasslehoff, Palin and Steel, Takhisis and Gilean and Paladine, an anonymous group of random dragons, and Flint. They'll probably all be posted today and tomorrow. Enjoy. This is the one with Tanis and Kit.  
  
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Tanis and Kitiara walk onto the stage mentioned previously. Tanthalas is wearing a white bunny suit, and Kitiara is wearing a silver puffy dress with lots of glitter. She holds a wand in her hand and has a humongous sterling silver crown on her head. She looks, in a word, ridiculous.  
Kit glares at Tanis as he begins hopping across the stage and Hiddukel's boice starts up.  
"Little bunny Fufu hopping through the forest, picking up the field mice and bopping them on the head. When along came the Great Faerie who said....."  
Kitiara picks up the nursery rhyme when Tanis stops in front of her. She digs her claws--umm, I mean nails into his shoulder and bonks him over the head with her wand.  
"Little bunny Fufu, I don't want to see you picking up the field mice and bopping them on the head. I'm giving you three chances, but if you use them up I'll turn you into a pile of goo."  
Kit gave his shoulder one last squeeze, then let go. They went through this same thing two more times, with Kitiara's modified lines, and then they performed the finale:  
"Little bunny Fufu, I gave you three chances, so now I get to turn you into a pile of goo." She grinned like a madwoman, then waved her wand around while listening to Raistlin chant off to the side of the stage. Right as he finished she brought her little frufru wand down on Tanis's head as hard as she could, and he turned into a pile of goo.  
Everyone gasped and burst into applause, some holding their sides in pain while crying because of how funny it all was. Tas ran on stage with a bucket and a dust pan to get the remains offstage.  
  
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Tanis: -glares at MK- I'm going to kill you! -draws his sword- DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
MK: Don't be rash--please--just calm down-- AGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Laurana!!!!!!! -runs behind Laurana-  
  
Laurana: Now, Tanis, don't be rash--  
  
MK: I'll spare you the massacre! Bye! DRAGONLANCE DOESN'T BELONG TO ME!!!!!!! 


	4. Rastlin And The Pink 80's SUIT Not Shirt

Author's Notes: I'm enjoying writing this story. This will probably be the only chapter today. It will be another day or two until I update again because the TAKS is coming up along with three or four projects. The TAKS is one of those tests that determines whether or not I pass the eighth grade and get to go on to high school. Sorry. This one is about RAISTLIN! YES, EVA, I'M FINALLY POSTING IT!!!!!! Okay. I think that's it. Enjoy.  
  
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Everyone chokes as Raistlin comes on. He's wearing a pink shirt with a ruffled pink shirt like the one's from the 80's. He had his hair up in two ponytails on the back of his head in purple hairties. He was holding the same cane that Sturm had used in his left hand. The tune In the Merry Merry Month of May began to play.  
Raistlin started walking and swinging the cane. When he reaches the middle of the stage he leans on the cane and moves from side to side.  
"In the merry merry month of May," he sings, "I was strolling through the park on e day. I was taken by surprise by a pair of lovely eyes, in the merry merry month of May!"  
He stops singing and strolls off the stage.  
The audience is in so much shock that they just continue to stare in horror, not even realizing that he had finished. (Tanis is back to normal, thanks to Laurana pleading with Raistlin to change him back.)  
  
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The pile of ectoplasmic slime that was once MischaKitsune: -bubble bubble-  
  
Raistlin: -laughing maniacally off to the side- Enjoy your brief experience with nonexistence.  
  
Mischa: -runs in with his Chinese broadsword raised-  
  
::An hour later::  
  
MK: Okay, I'm back now. -pats Mischa on the head and sends him packing- That's the inspiration for my name. Byes byes! 


	5. Caramon And The Theme From Swan Lake

Author's Note: Sorry it's taking me so long! I've just been really, really lazy lately. Now for CARAMON!! Well, I do not own any of these characters, or any of the copyrights for Dragonlance. I got ALL PHS'S!!!!!!!! YEAH!!! Sorry. I had to. I'm in high school now. Thank you to: RoguesHeart, for replying three times Guan, for replying twice Silverkitsune202, for replying three times Diablo's Mistress And finally brass-dragon33 for all of your support and your two reviews Now! Onto the chapter!  
  
Caramon entered from the left. The audience was back for another round of craziness. Everyone's eyes bulged as they saw how he was dressed. He was wearing skin tight sparkly blue pants, and no shirt. His chest had been painted to make it look as though he had feathers, rather like a swan. He had his hair gelled flat and pulled into a ponytail. He had a ton of blue eye shadow on, and had glitter all over his face. On his feet were a pair of tie up blue ballet shoes.  
He walked to the center of the stage. The Theme From Swan Lake came on. Everyone's eyes continued to bug out until he finished the ballet almost ten minutes later. He took a deep bow and walked off. Everyone ran out of the room.  
  
Mischa: You need to be put in an insane asylum.  
  
Caramon: -is red with rage-  
  
MK: -nervously- Well, I have to go now! Toodles! 


	6. Tika, Otik's Spicy Potatoes, And The YMC...

Author's Note: Wow, this is new. I'm actually updating less than a day after I updated the last time. I'd just like all of you to know that I have a pattern for these characters. So far, I did Sturm's on a spur of the moment thought. I didn't plan anything until I finished writing the chapter with Tanis/Kitiara. I realize now that I should have put Laurana before those two, because Kitiara could have been the link to Raistlin. Raistlin was Caramon's twin, so that put him next. So, now that I've done Caramon I'm doing Tika. I'll give a special thanks to the first person to figure out who will be next if I'm doing Tika now. From now on I'll tell you what the connection between the characters is at the beginning of the chapter. I do not own Dragonlance or its characters. Thank you Silverkitsune202, who left a reply very soon after I posted. You're the only person I know of who has me on their favorite stories list. THANK YOU!!! On with the show.  
  
Tasslehoff pulls a little red wagon onto the stage. Tika follows him on stage. She is wearing a neon yellow miniskirt and tube top ensemble. Everyone gags at the brightness and how badly it clashes with her hair. Tasslehoff turns and walks offstage with his eyes closed.  
She turns and takes a bow. She grabs a frying pan off of a portable stove with heated grease in it. She takes a handful of potatoes and throws them in. Everyone's stomachs growl when they realize that she's going to make Otik's spicy potatoes. Then she grabs a 50 pound weight out of the wagon. The YMCA song comes on, and she starts frying, while at the same time lifting the weight. Everyone stares in amazement. Finally, the song ends, and she puts the weight down. She walks down into the audience to where Tanin, Sturm, Caramon, and Tanis are all holding plates. She gives them all a portion of the potatoes as everyone looks on jealously, then goes back on stage, turns off the portable oven, puts the weight back into the wagon, and then drags it off stage. No one claps because they wanted the potatoes, and the four men are too busy stuffing their faces to applaud.  
  
Tika: Boys, sick her!  
  
The four men: -shuffle their feet and look around-  
  
Tika: -brandishes a frying pan-  
  
The four men: YIPES!! We're going, we're going!  
  
MK: HELP! MISCHA!! Toodles, people! I'll update as soon as I get these guys off my back! 


	7. Palin, Steel, And Munchkin Outfits

Author's Note: Wow. I don't think that it's even been an HOUR since the last time that I posted. Here's the connection. This one is about Palin and Steel. The connection is that, of course, Palin is Tika's son. Sorry that none of you got a chance to figure out the connection. I'm having fun here. So, I don't own Dragonlance or it's characters. Enjoy the story. I managed to work my kitten, Spider (black and white), and my sister's kitten, Hermes, into this story.  
  
Palin enters from the right as Steel enters from the left. They are on their knees, and their knee pads are decorated to look like shoes. They are wearing munchkin outfits, like the munchkins in The Wizard of Oz. Palin is carrying a black and white kitten, and Steel is carrying a Siamese kitten. They stop next to each other once they reach the middle of the stage.  
Music starts playing. Both of them start swaying from side to side and singing. "Ding dong, the witch is dead, the witch old witch, the wicked witch, ding dong, the wicked witch is dead!" They sang the whole song from start to finish, then stood up and took a bow when they were finished. No one could clap because of how hard they were laughing.  
  
Tanin and Sturm: -restraining Palin and Steel-  
  
Palin: You...You..You...Anthropoid!!!  
  
Steel: Just wait until they let me go!!!  
  
MK: Toodles! I'll update soon! 


	8. The Two Gods, The Goddess, And The Smurf...

Author's Note: Well, here we are again. So soon. I do not own Dragonlance or its characters. The next people I will torture are..... Paladine, Takhisis, and Gilean! How are these three connected with Palin and Steel, you ask? Well, Palin was named for Paladine. I switched around a few of the chapters so the order makes sense for those now, too. Here we go. OH! First, thanks again, Silverkitsune202! I love your reviews!  
  
Everyone in the audience was back for another round, this time with glasses. Their eyes were still wounded from Tika's outfit. They took a break to go buy some after Palin and Steel did their act. They had all settled down when Takhisis, Paladine, and Gilean appeared on stage unexpectedly. They all jumped, thinking that their glasses were playing tricks on them.  
The two gods and the goddess were painted blue, and they were wearing white outfits, like the Smurfs. They waited for the audience to settle down, and then Takhisis grinned maliciously. They started a trio of.... The Smurf Theme Song! Everyone in the audience except the Companions fainted. They sang it through to the end, and then disappeared again. The Companions burst out laughing and left to find cold water to wake up everyone else.  
  
The two gods and goddess: -sniff as the Companions laugh-  
  
Takhisis: I could have killed all of you at any point if I had wanted to, so don't start. We have a little vixen to murder!  
  
The two gods and goddess: -turn on MK and start chasing her, deciding that it would be more satisfying to kill her in a mortal's way-  
  
MK: AGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Goldmoon! Mishakal! HELP!!!!! 


	9. Reorx, The Flying Trapese Artist

Author's Note: All right. This chapter wasn't originally in my plan, but thanks to Jenni, I am now going to add it. This chapter will be about Reorx! He's connected to the previous chapter because he's a god. I do not own Dragonlance or its characters. Thank you, reviewer! Enjoy this chapter. Sorry they're so short, but that means I can write more of them more easily. Plus, you can only handle so much humor at once.

Ten minutes later the audience was getting very annoyed. Reorx was nowhere to be found. Out of nowhere there came a cough. Everyone started looking around to find the source, but he was nowhere to be seen. The cough came again, and they looked up. High in the air above the stage were two wooden platforms that no one had noticed before. In between the two platforms were bars hung by wires to the ceiling. On the platform to the right of the stage was Reorx. He was dressed in a skin tight bodysuit like the trapese artists in the circus. Except this one was a bright neon purple. He waited for the gagging to stop, and then he launched himself towards the first bar.  
He swung across the stage, from bar to bar, never once slipping. Everyone stared, slack jawed. He finished getting to the left, and then turned around and went back the way he came. The audience rubbed their eyes, blinked, then checked again to make sure that they were actually seeing this. Once he was back on the right he stopped and took a bow. He disappeared in a puff of red smoke. Everyone burst into applause.

MK: AGGGGHHHHH!!!!! Help! Toodles!  
  
The three gods and goddess: -still chasing her, now with Reorx helping- 


	10. Flint And The Elephants

Author's Note: Well, I got my first flame today. It was for another story, though. I do not own Dragonlance or any of its characters. Today's chapter is about Flint! Since the last one was about Reorx, the god of the dwarves, Flint fits in nicely. I hope you enjoy this next chapter.  
  
Flint edged onto the stage, blushing mightily. There were reasons for that. He was wearing a giant hat shaped and colored like a flamingo, and a circus conductor's outfit . He waved his hand and Sabre Dance boomed through the building.  
Five elephants came on, the smallest carrying a gall. The biggest one got on the ball while the smallest held it steady, then the second largest, then the middle sized, and finally the second smallest. The little one let go and climbed to the top while the rest balanced. They stayed in a pyramid as Flint walked closer to the middle. He took out three bowling pins and a unicycle. He got on and balanced, then carefully reached down and grabbed the three bowling pins.  
He rode around juggling for a few minutes while the elephants stayed perfectly still. He was about to stop when he lost his balance. He careened into the elephant at the bottom, who lost its balance and caused all of them to fall. The bowling pins flew towards the audience, and everyone ran out of the way.  
Flint picked himself up off of the ground, looked at the audience, then ran offstage. Everyone sweat dropped as they stared.  
  
Flint and elephants: Must kill!! -acting like zombies-  
  
MK: Yipes! Jenni!!! Help! 


End file.
